everything sounds beautiful and crisp until all these dull squarewave leads and arps start fading into the drop. if you want to keep those more "chiptune" kinda sounds i think just lowering the pulsewidth on those square synths to match the main melody tone would help brighten them up a lot without altering the feel you're going for.
the piano sound is also a bit thumpy and unnatural. adjusting the timing so that notes aren't all perfectly in time and move the note velocities around so the important beats in the melody are accented will help this. none of the melodies in this track are very memorable but they're also not really "bad" - they just kinda plod along and don't touch on any of the big emotional ideas that the chord progression hints at. the melody synth is also not what i'd personally use for something so bittersweet sounding - a little vibrato might help it to sound more emotive?
the guitar playing through the drop sucks a lot of the tension out of the first wave of that chord stack, just cut it off with that last finger snap. once the beat comes in it sounds like the transients of the reversed kicks overlap those of the regular kicks? sounds kinda messy! i like how the 2nd half of each chorus has this little refrain leading into it. i'd like the little percussive part on the melody here to be the dominant though.
middle section is cool, i like the soft vinyl crackle and piano EQ after the house section but the piano feels muddy as it plays over the rest of the buildup so i'd either cut it or alter the EQ on it coming into this section. little disappointing that this last chorus doesn't feel any different to the first except for some minor changes in the refrain - would be good to cut all the pads and the melody out under that snare @ 2:51 and then slam them all back in when the chord stack drops back in, just to maximise the tension coming into that final run through of the melody.
the ending felt very awkward and honestly sounds unfinished, at least drop one last kick and crash down if you want to end suddenly like that. it really feels like it wants to drop straight into that middle vocal section again and then end on that.
very solid production and mixing overall. it's mainly sound design and structural issues that hold this back for me, as well as not really finding the melodies particularly interesting personally. i definitely see a lot of potential in this and i'm looking forward to hearing what you can bring to the table in the future!